“How am I suppose to do this? This is impossible!?”
This is the thought I have reluctantly entertained and believed during some trying times during the past two and a half months. (Mostly during the early mornings when I haven’t had a lot of sleep). I’ve had mothers remind me that this is not a normal beginning to motherhood, but I think adjusting to having a new person to be totally responsible for is challenging for any mom! During the abundant time I now have to think and pray, thanks to a hungry little baby, I’ve thought a lot about the question above.
These past few months have contained some of the most challenging moments, most unpleasant memories, and most joyous times in my life thus far.
During those times when I just wanted to give up or bail out, God has been so faithful and reminded me of His all-sufficient grace. There were times at the hospital when I didn’t think I could survive being there another day. There are times now when I am discouraged thinking that all I do is take care of Leo and how on earth do mothers take care of more than one child? I can remember that God has given me this day’s grace (and even a one-child grace). When my husband is weary, Leo is fussy, the laundry isn’t done, I can remember that this is day that the Lord has given me, and He has given me everything I need to not only “survive” it but THRIVE it!
It’s so great to be able to learn these truths now, as I don’t think it is going to be any easier when we move overseas. I can already see how difficult it’s going to be. Raising a child, managing a household, learning another language, building relationships with people from another culture, missing family, etc. How am I supposed to be a “missionary” if I can barely be a mom? I am only seeing more and more what a weak, selfish, lazy person I am.
So, how am I suppose to do this? By believing on the truth that God’s grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). Remember that only through choosing to rely on Him am I able to have the grace, the patience, the self-control, and the discipline to raise this child, to wash those dishes, or to be compassionate towards my husband (Galatians 5:16; John 15:5).
Through God nothing is impossible! He has prepared us not only to live the Christian life at home, but also in the context of a foreign culture sharing his good news with others. He has given us everything we need to live a godly life (2 Peter 1:3; Ephesians 1:3), He has given us His Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 1:22, John 14:26), and He has given us the authority to “go” (Matthew 28:18-20).
So whether you are struggling with being a mother, discouraged working a 40 hour job, wanting to return home from overseas… if you rely on Him, life is not only possible, but full of joy once thought impossible! Join me in choosing grace instead of grumbling, and thriving instead of surviving!