Are you are friend?

Are you a friend?

So many people will claim to be friends with so many people. What does “friend” even mean anymore? What should “friend” mean? Did you know your friend struggles daily with thoughts of suicide, addictions of the darkest natures, feelings of worthlessness, and/or fear so overwhelming that it makes him wish he was never born? Do you really know that person? Are you really a friend?

I say these things because I’m crushed by my own complacent attitude towards the people around me. I spent the majority of my life living in agonizing depression. There were many days when there was nothing I wanted more than to end my life. I know this is a taboo subject, but let me reassure you, even though we like to pretend that our brothers, our sisters, and our friends are all “fine,” we’ve all heard the statement, “I had no idea,” said after a son lost his father, a wife lost her husband, or a father lost his son, to suicide. The truth is that Satan is a beast and our greatest enemy, and he wants nothing more than for the Body of Christ to bury their heads in their hands every night and weep over the seemingly overwhelming feelings of worthlessness.

Why then do I sit idly by and think to myself, “I know I’ve struggled with these thoughts, but no one else has, or ever will.” I’m writing this because I’m tired of feeling alone; I’m tired of believing the lie that the Devil has told. The lie that I’m the only one struggling, that there is no help, that there is no point.

I’m calling out to the husbands who feel worthless, the women who are broken-hearted,  the youth who struggle with peers who daily make them feel like they will never be good enough, the fathers who struggle to provide, and to everyone whoever has thought that life is not worth it. You aren’t alone, and you aren’t without hope. Life isn’t worth “it”, but let me tell you something, Jesus is.

If you ask me today why I keep on going even though when I look in the mirror I still see the fat kid who always got laughed at, when I struggle to feel accepted, or when I see others and wonder why I’m such a screw up, I would tell you it’s because Jesus is worth it all. Because no matter what, I choose to serve God with all my heart, soul, and strength. This is a call to honesty, to break from the fox hole you’ve been hiding in and charge the enemy with the full armor of God. To those of you who are hurting, find help. To those who aren’t struggling, grab ahold of a brother who is and walk with them towards the God who died and rose for them. And to myself, realize that no matter what the devil says, there is a reason to persevere, and it’s Jesus.

“But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus.” 2 Corinthians 7:6 (NASB)

Will you do it? Are you a true friend?

Just a thought from a sanctified sinner,
– Mark

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One Comment on “Are you are friend?

  1. I am so humbled by this. We share the same thoughts, Buck. How I wish we could sit down together and chat about our hearts. God is enough, but it’s so hard to hold tightly onto that truth when all you feel is telling you otherwise. Thank you for sharing this honesty. I’m praying for you, brother. Love, Cara

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